Thanks dad

Whew. What a great 20 days. They were certainly eventful -- trekking, elephants, waterfalls, kayaks, falling out of kayaks, sprinting through rainstorms, tuk tuk rides (or, as my father called them, death tuk rides ...), all kinds of boxing events, and a TON of wats. Since there is so much to tell, and only so much internet time, I will describe for you loyal readers a singular episode that shows off some of the brains and brawn of my father, since he was so great to come and hang with Laura and me.
We were in Laos, in the capital city of Vientianne for 5 nights and after exploring the city decided to get out into nature a bit (apparently, Laura and I are into that now) and take a kayaking trip on the river. After shopping around for a bit, we settled with a full day trip sold to us by a woman who we deemed simply "the crazy lady." If any of you are in Vientianne in the future, I am sure you will be able to recognize the hyper woman who could NOT stop smiling or talking a billion unintelligible words per minute or bursting into infectious fits of laughter. I loved her. Whatever she was on, I wanted some. She sold us a trip in kayaks down the Nam Lik river, complete with lunch at an "eco village" and transfer to and from the city both ways.
So, we received an early morning wake up call and found ourselves at the local bus station minutes later. We were all expecting some sort of bus or mini bus for our transfer to the river, so we were a bit surprised when we were piled into a sawngthaew, which is a pick up truck with two benches facing eachother in the bed of the truck. No big deal. We had plenty of room because the only other thing in the truck initially was bags and bags of spring onions. Based on previous experiences with public transportation, I expected the truck to fill up slowly, but neglected to inform my father -- who has the same long leg problem I have, but also the additional pain of not being able to sit up straight in the truck because he is too tall. 3 smelly hours later, we arrived at our destination. We had a bit of a problem locating the place we were supposed to pick up our kayaks from, but managed to figure it out. We received no guide or instructions. In fact, the only people to see is off were a group of dirty yet adorable children. The eldest waved down the river and told us to stop at the eco village. Then we realized we were only given two kayaks, each for two people, so someone was going to have to double up. Still tired from the early morning wakeup, I made a decision that would determine the rest of the afternoon. Laura would make me paddle with her, while I could simply cruise in the boat with my dad, so I gave Laura her own kayak and hopped in the front of my dads boat and we took off down river.
The beginning of the trip was pleasant and comfortable and beautiful. The jungles in Laos are stunning. Mountains and clouds and perfect light and thick foliage, complete with all kinds of jungley sounds that I can't identify but find beautiful none the less. The problems started when we neared a large rock with the word STOP written on it. Perched atop the rock were two boys, one of whom was holding a shotgun. They start gesturing us to pull over, so we follow command. We realize they are queuing kayaks over the large rapid nearby. Laura was ahead of my father and me, and watched a pair of two germans attempt the rapid unsuccessfully -- as in their kayak tipped over and they were forced to figure out a way to get back into their kayak while not drowning or getting eaten by whatever might or might not be lurking in the water. Laura is prodding me to note a key detail I had forgotten, the germans had sturdy helmets, and a guide. Two things the crazy lady did not sell us. After seeing the look of fear on Laura's face, the boy without the shotgun hops down from his perch and offers to ride the kayak through the rapids for Laura while she climbs down the rocks nearby. Laura, wise girl that she is because she graduated from high-school (hi Mr Fox!), decides to take our friend's advice and she climbs out. I assumed my dad and I would wait for the kid to get back to our kayak so he could do us the same favor, but no, my dad pushes off and starts paddling toward the rapid. I, who had limited control of the boat, shot a panicked look at Laura on shore and shouted "Laura!!! What is he doing???!!! We are going over the rapid!!! I don't want to!!!" there may have also been a few expletives thrown in there, but I'm not sure. Laura, no doubt, had the best view of the comedy that ensued ... I just asked her for details and she reports that my dad was yelling "keep paddling!!!" which was almost un-hearable above my bloodcurdling screams. Then she says, and I quote, " it was a quick 1 2 3 OVER. You guys had no chance in the world. Then you disappeared from sight, and I thought I was left for dead with your digital camera and the kid with the shotgun."
So, we tipped. My dad is yelling to keep hold of my paddle, which I manage to do. We get tossed through the rest of the rapid and once we get to calmer water we pull over just in time for me to watch the kid in Laura's kayak shred through the water like he is on the discovery channel and come to my rescue. I am trying to flip the boat back over, which I am sure looks to him like I am drowning. He flips it over in one fell swoop, and holds it down while I hoist and lunge and shimmy back into position. He pushes me off to pick up my dad who floated further downstream. In my traveling partner's oh so eloquent words, 1 2 3 and I flipped AGAIN, this time floating past my dad with the boat and forcing the kid to rescue me again. He probably thought I was really great.
Don't worry, we recover from this crisis. We find Laura, get everyone back in their boats, and continue down the river. But something has definitely shifted in the Caimi boat. The balance is really hard to keep, and of course I think it is my dad's fault and he thinks it is my fault. There is name calling and fault laying much to the bemusement of Flo. I become convinced that my dad is shifting around too much because I am forced to dramatically lean to one side out of the boat every few strokes just to keep us afloat. I get frusturated and let the boat tip over. My dad and I float near some rocks on the shore and Laura continues on. We right the boat, climb in, and immediately flip. We try a different entrance technique, and immediately flip. My dad asks me to hold onto a large boulder next to me, and when I reach out my hand I see 2 spiders the size of my hand in the exact place I was about to grab. We flip again. I lost it at this point, really fully lost it. I clambered on a rock nearby, still holding onto my paddle and announce that I want my dad to continue down the river without me. I will have my paddle for protection, and he can send a boat back for me. We have been marooned for about an hour at this point, and no sign of miss Fox, so my dad dismisses my plan saying he has no idea how long it will take him to get back to me. He forces me back into the boat, and again we flip. Neither he nor I can figure it out at first -- something must be wrong with the boat. I realize that it may be filled with water, so my dad drags the boat on shore and uses his brute strength to lift the kayak, and drain the water inside out of a hole near the tip. After draining it, I re-announce my intention to brave the Lao jungles with my paddle until he can send a proper boat back for me, but again he gets me back in, and thank the stars in the sky, we stay afloat with ease. My dad tells me to paddle hard. We haven't seen the Fox for over an hour and, have no clue how much further we have to paddle.
I kid you not, 75 yards down river, around a small bend, we see the darn eco village. The whole ordeal, we were 75 yards away!!!! We could have just swam to the finish. We find Laura ensconced in semi luxury with a chain smoking french man who has clearly spent a wee bit too much time in the jungle. She claims that after we didn't show up for awhile, she asked the french man to send a boat to get us, and he refused on the basis that 85% of people flip, and he couldn't be bothered. After hearing this fact, discussion turned to whether or not the crazy lady was trying to kill us or not. The french man and his family prepared us a yummy vegetarian meal, and then it was back to the big city for us. That night in the shower, I cannot even begin to describe the pond putresence that came off of me.
So, this is just one of many adventures that we experienced while trying to keep up with my dad.

Love to everyone at home. For those who don't already know, we fly to India June 2nd!

Disclaimer: Jess, being more of a 'big picture' kind of lady, asked me to proof-read her entry. With my duty of correcting her spelling and grammatical errors fulfilled, I find it necessary to add that 1) I did attempt to paddle back and be of any assistance after waiting a solid half hour for the Caimis to mount their boat again. Alas, the current was a bit strong so my efforts were in vain and only resulted in some passing fishermen judging the girl paddling upstream with no progress.
2) when Jess says she 'lost it' in the water, I think knowing that she threw up while staying afloat with her paddle under her knees 'girl scout white water rafting education style' is an important detail.
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